I dabbled around with the mythic rules playtest document for Pathfinder RPG, and the imp of the perverse took hold of me. So now, at four in the morning, I give you…
Hamster, Savage Giant CR 5/MR 2
N Large animal (mythic)
Init +1; Senses low-light vision; Perception +9
AC 17, touch 10, flat-footed 16 (+1 Dex, +7 natural, -1 size)
hp 46 (4d8+28)
Fort +7, Ref +5, Will +2
Resist acid 5, cold 5, electricity 5, fire 5; Immune disease
Speed 20 ft., burrow 10 ft.
Melee bite +7 (1d8+7 plus bleed 1 plus grab)
Space 10 ft.; Reach 5 ft.
Special Attacks cheek pouch
Str 21, Dex 13, Con 16, Int 1, Wis 12, Cha 6
Base Atk +3; CMB +8 (+12 grapple); CMD 19 (23 vs. trip)
Feats Endurance, Mythic ParagonM, Skill Focus (Perception)
Skills Climb +10, Perception +9
SQ always a chance, to the death
Always a Chance (Ex) Whenever the savage giant hamster makes an attack roll that results in a natural 1 on the die, the attack is not automatically a miss.
Cheek Pouch (Ex) A giant hamster can try to stuff a grabbed opponent of two sizes smaller than itself into its cheek pouch by making a successful grapple check. A creature stuffed into the giant hamster’s cheek pouch takes no damage, and can escape by making a successful DC 16 Strength check or can cut its way out by using a light slashing or piercing weapon to deal 10 points of damage to the cheek (AC 11). Once the creature exits, muscular action closes the hole; another trapped opponent must cut its own way out.
A Large hamster’s cheek can hold 1 Small, 2 Tiny, or 8 Diminutive or smaller opponents. The check DC is Strength-based.
To the Death (Ex) When below 0 hit points, the savage giant hamster does not fall unconscious or take damage from acting normally. It does not die until its negative hit points are equal to or greater than three times its Constitution score.
I took some liberties tinkering with the rules. For instance, the savage template would give our adorable little ball of epic violence the vicious assault special attack, which it would not actually benefit from. I substituted the to the death special quality instead. Also, the Mythic Paragon feat doesn’t benefit it in any way either, but it’s the only mythic feat the damn thing meets the prerequisites for. Oh well.